Wellbeing Together – He Tirohanga Anamata

wellness hayley benseman

Wellbeing Together – He Tirohanga Anamata

Wellbeing… we, as in I, need to take some responsibility for my own mental health. It can be a touchy subject for some. And we’ve just had Mental Health Week in NZ so it’s a good time to talk about this baby! Let’s be honest, we all have our good times and bad times, and some days I’ll wake up feeling good, others I don’t but have need to get on with it all anyway.


There was a day I lost my ‘shiz’ because it was all a bit overwhelming, I’ve had a lot going on and I just needed to crack it. I visited some good mates and spilled my guts, went for a walk and had a cry. I needed it, and I couldn’t have stopped myself if I tried but the point was it was just what I needed to do that day and that’s OK. Some of the stresses were out of my control. But it’s got me thinking more about the stuff I can control.


With the increase in messaging on social media coming across our daily paths it can be easy to get swamped by the impression people are putting out there, not just professionally but personally. But you can bet people don’t wake up looking a million dollars in white linen with sparkly happy children playing quietly while they laze in a fringed hammock. That stuff takes effort, set up and bribes. It’s not the stuff of reality and I think it’s important we take our own reality checks on this. This kind of social media advertising really plays with our mental wellbeing.


Recently I had a photo shoot for the website and I had a team of beautiful people helping me to feel and look my best. There’s a great doco on Netflix at the mo  – The Social Dilemma – which digs into this really well. This whole thing is such a catch 22 because we use these platforms heavily for business but we’ve got to learn to control our impulses and manage this input ourselves. The social giants aren’t going to do it, it’s nearly impossible. I’m not sure what the answer is, but definitely time limits and avoiding the rabbit hole is something at least I can work on. Turn that OFF when it’s not serving me but swerving me.


Drinking. This is one that can so easily creep from a glass at the end of the day to a few and a bottle it’s crazy! And socially pretty acceptable, or encouraged even. But waking up feeling shitty about what I’ve done to my mind, body and soul does not serve me.  ‘They’ say if it’s affecting the way you feel about yourself, your relationships, your work, or physically these are warning signs. Well I’ve been listening to mine and I’m not afraid or ashamed to say I’ve been creeping with the vinos and I’m not happy about it! It’s pretty much the opposite of what I do in daily life so out it goes. I’m podcasting and reading and abstaining my way to a healthier me. Luckily there are a few good resources out there to help. Here is a questionnaire thingy that might help you figure out how you are feeling about your own habits if you need it. Need I say it again – for you and for me, wellbeing folks – drinking in excess is not great for it. No eye rolling pretty please lol. As Dr Libby would say…. we need to be honest with our selves about our drinking habits.


Ooooooh the news. Again this is stuff out of my control, stuff is happening all over the place and some of it is really not good. BUT there are also ways of feeling informed with the facts rather than the feeds that bubble up on my timeline because of profiling. It pays to be a bit more savvy about which news sources we are looking at, and taking in what is relevant. Also night time news is not a great way to go. Again, it’s a turn off situation here. Escape with a good book or a snuggle on the couch for a great show to switch off. Or an afternoon with my hands in the dirt or playing with the kids, the world will still keep turning and I can’t control what’s happening out there so I’ll concentrate more on what I can. There’s still so much light and I’m going to focus on that as much as I can. Good stuff is happening too.

World Mental Health Health Day is coming up. There is a mental health lock out on Monday 10th of October from 12 – 1pm. Everyone is encouraged to get outside, away from the office or work outside from 12 – 1pm or just ditch whatever you’re doing and stop, take in some air. I say we do this!!! 


Hey so if you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed by stuff and not having a great day I feel you. We ALL have them. We can’t have the light moments without the dark moments, but let’s focus on what we can for ourselves to bring more of the light in. Lets make wellbeing our #1 priority this year.


Here are a few resources to help if you need it or if you’re concerned about someone you know.

Come take a look at my own Well Being page! full of great books and advice x

Mental Health Foundation NZ 

Here is that documentary I mentioned. The Social Dilemma. 

Alcohol NZ 

Talk to your GP, they can help, it can be the first step to reach out and they’ll have up to date information on what help you might get in your area. Or call a mate. That’s often the best medicine right?


Love Hayles xx

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